Sakura Kuchiki and Ryuu Kurosaki: Messed up Bleach
by Sakura Eir Kuchiki
Summary: It's when my friends and I are in Bleach and totally screw with it. It'll be funny and such and sometimes may imply couples or not. Depends.


Me: Alrighty...So this is basically what happens when my friend and I RP over the phone about Bleach...I had to do this...and I hope you all think it's funny...Anyway, here's our we met in Bleach...

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Only own our characters, Sakura Kuchiki and Ryuu Kurosaki, but that's about it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, in the park in Karakura Town, a girl with black hair was running from a pack of rabid and butcher knife-carrying squirrels. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sakura screamed, loudly, which pissed off the squirrels even more. So, of course, they somehow found a crowbar and started to attack anyone nearby as well, which happened to be a red and orange haired girl.

"Holy shit! Squirrels with crowbars! What the fuck?" Ryuu yelled, getting her kunai out while her brother, Ichigo, just looked wide-eyed at the squirrels and ran screaming...Sakura came over to Ryuu, pulling out her zanpakuto. 

"Yo, you wanna kick the shit outta these retarded squirrels and why is that guy running like a total moron?" Sakura said, pointing out to Ichigo, screaming mommy while running.

"Oh don't mind that retard. So, kick the shit outta squirrels?" Ryuu replied, grinning, while the rabid, butcher and crowbar carrying squirrels closed in.

"Duh." and after 5 minutes of kicking the squirrels' asses...

"Ugh, hold on, I gotta go get my stupid ass brother..." Ryuu said, retrieving said brother. (Which took like, 5 hours.)

5 hours later...

"I'm Sakura Kuchiki by the-"

"You're Byakuya Kuchiki's sister? OMIFUCKINGOD!" Ryuu said, passing out.

"..." 

"Anyway, ignore my retarded ass sister...I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. She's...Ryuu Kurosaki." Ichigo said, just glaring at his sister.

"Okay then...Um, may I ask WHY you were running from squirrels like a total moron?" Sakura questioned.

FLASHBACK!

Ichigo, who was 6, with his sister, Ryuu, at age 7, at the aquarium. They were looking at the sharks, Ichigo going, "Oooooh" and "Aaaaah" at them all while Ryuu, typically, went to buy candy.

"Ichigo, sweety, don't get too close to the glass." His mother warned, going to check up on Ryuu. (Hey, she was a big flirt even at 7.)

Ichigo, who totally ignored this, pressed his whole body into the glass, and looked at a shark coming at him. It almost went against the glass, and snapped at him, making him scream and run. Ichigo screamed, and unfortunately, the turtle section wasn't glassed off, but you either had to be running in blind terror or a complete idiot. He ran right into the turtle section. He stopped and of course, like any little kid, was like, "Look at the turtles! I'ma pet one!" He went to pet a turtle, and it bite his hand, which at that point, he blinked and ran, crying and screaming, and went outside. He tripped over a pile of acorns, and the squirrels nearby saw. They grabbed their butcher knives and crowbars and went to attack Ichigo, who ran back inside, squirrels following. After 10 minutes of this, Ryuu came back with a bag of candy, and threw a couple at the squirrels. They took the candy and left, leaving a scarred Ichigo to be forever scared to death by squirrels, sharks, and turtles...

End Flashback!

"Ooooh...that's why..." Sakura said.

"Yup..."

"Hey, what happened? I hada dream we were being chased by squirrels and then Byakuya'ssistercametosaveusandomigosh! Itwasrealandomigoshandomigosh! Hey, wanna be friends?" Ryuu said to Sakura, who was utterly confused.

"Um, sure?" 

"YAY! I'm a ninja, what are you? Huh huh huh? My idiot brother is a shinigami and our mom was a ninja, but she died when I was 10 and he was 9 somewhere in July? Or June? Oh well, and oh yea, I have a shinigami friend!" Ryuu said, rambling.

Sakura just grinned, and thought, "This is gonna be fun..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Alright here's our intro...If you wanna see our bios, go onto my profile. 'k? R&R please. And if it isn't that funny, sorry. It's a first chapter, or more like a preface. So yea...

Shiro (Hollow Ichigo): HURRY IT UP!

Ryuu: Yea!

Shiro: (looks at Ryuu) INSTINCT!

Ryuu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shiro: Heheheheheeee...


End file.
